More Christmas Pics........

Ava's First Christmas Home

Ava enjoyed Christmas to say the least! She actually thought it was a "place", and she kept saying "Go Christmas". She loved opening presents and was disappointed when they were all opened...she knew how this works!

So here are the pics:). Notice I didn't take a lot...sorry:)

"I Love You Mom, and Bonding"

You know I always knew that when Ava could speak more English, our struggles would lessen...and they are! A couple of weeks ago she said "I Love You, Mom", and gave me this giddy, silly, slightly embarrassed hug..but I knew she meant it, and so did I when I answered with, "I love you too, Ava."

It's all coming together...slowly but surely...but it IS!

As we have talked about adopting again, I don't want my relationship with her to get lost in the excitement/or anxiety of it all, so I will continue to update everyone about her:).

I also don't want to forget her birth country...I'm not sure what's in store for adoptions there...but it seems like the country is headed in a good direction, time will tell for sure. And although we will most likely not adopt from there(but, you know how this can all go;)), I want to still be involved in giving back to the children that are left behind.

I have heard of One Heart Bulgaria, but was so wrapped up in getting her home that I didn't do much with what I knew until now.

Below is a video and a link to their homepage. They have wonderful programs in many different orphanages across Bulgaria. I especially like the "Baba Program"...we all know how much these little ones need ATTENTION!

So, as we bring our little ones home...let's not forget the ones left behind..we can STILL make a difference!







Check out all they have to offer the little ones(and not so little ones)in BULGARIA!
http://www.oneheart-bg.org/programs.php

Where Lord??

As I said earlier, we have been doing a lot of research into African-American infant adoption. There is a NEED..who would have thought that in our own country there would be a need for families to adopt these beautiful brown skinned babies!! Not many are standing in line for them...as they are Caucasian... There is a NEED...no, they're not starving...but they are being aborted or thrown in the trash at times!!(as are Caucasian babies) SIIIIGGHHH!

Ethiopia: WOW! Ethiopia has always been on my heart...HUGE NEED!!!

Question: WHERE DO WE GO LORD!!!???? After seeing Depraved Indifference(check out my last post), my heart is absolutely torn apart for those little ones in Africa....and did anyone see Dateline with George Clooney in the Sudan?? Not about orphans, but still!!! They really have no hope at all. Yes, more and more families are adopting, but NOT NEARLY ENOUGH!..NOT MILLIONS to match the need!!!!

I've always been a "go where there is the greatest need" kind of girl....but boy am I struggling with this one...

Hubby wanted to stay in the US, so I began looking into foster-care adoption(this turned out to not be an option in our area), then AA domestic(found two great agencies via a bloggy friend)...then he said wherever...he's NO HELP AT ALL;)!

Honestly, traveling that far sounds scary to me...did I mention I HATE flying? Did I mention the scopolomine patch made my heart skip beats(for air sickness)?...did I mention that same patch didn't work the first 4 hours on the way home(so I was sick and dizzy)? More than that, I HATE leaving my kids behind with other people...I get soooooooo scared something will happen to one of them while I'm gone....I could not relax for one second in Bulgaria for worrying about them... I know, I know, "Where's your faith, Renae"? Did I mention that because of the elevation in Ethiopia, I would also have altitude sickness for two days while there????

Did I mention I can come up with LOTS of excuses for NOT going to Africa???!!!

So, where LORD?? Here....? There....?

How do I justify staying in the US?? How do I say "NO"? Does it matter "where"..?

I used to get so frustrated with adoptive parents who couldn't decide on a country...I used to think, "Gee-Whiz, just pick ONE...it doesn't matter WHERE..an orphan is an orphan!!"

Maybe I just need to take my own advice.....:)!

Would you pray for us as we make a decision this week? Would you pray for closed/open doors? Would you pray that I would not feel GUILTY no matter what we choose!:)

I'm just so thankful that we have seen the Lord's faithfulness in pulling together Ava's adoption...we KNOW that HE can do it again!!:)

Eric Ludy - Depraved Indifference

I'm UNDONE!! This has convicted me BEYOND belief....Lord, may we be broken and spilled out for YOU!