I just really need to share what's been going on in my heart recently...
For some time now(MONTHS) I've been feeling that the Lord may be asking US to GO to the mission field(foreign)...specifically, to work with, and spread the gospel to orphans/underprivileged children full-time!! Yeah, yeah, I know...CRAZY, isn't it?!?!? But, I just can't shake it!! At times it is so strong that I have weird and crazy thoughts run through my mind...for example, this summer, when I was stocking up on school desks, supplies, etc...this voice in the back of my mind kept saying, "Keep it simple Renae, you can't take that with you to the mission field." I would have blown it off, if it hadn't happened MULTIPLE times about multiple things!!
I don't really know what to make of it all. All I know is that, the more and more I read scripture and think about our PURPOSE as Christians, the more unsettled I feel about our "American lives"... The more nothing makes sense EXCEPT going!! I want to have a fully surrendered heart to WHEREVER the Lord leads, as does my husband....so we are obviously praying diligently about what He may have for us, and it seems the confirmations we pray for are always coming through something I have read/heard/etc....and he hasn't heard that same confirmation, so we "wait expectantly" for what our next step might be...or not be:).
I want the Lord to lead us through my husband, as it should be, so I'm asking you to PRAY as well. That IF this is from HIM(and not my own pre-menopausal craziness;)), He will make it clear to BOTH of us, and that our children will somehow sense it as well. My hubby loves the Lord, and has a passion for discipleship and teaching God's word, so we want this to be a TEAM endeavor for sure!:)
It's exciting to say "YES, LORD!!"...but incredibly humbling and scary all at the same time.
Now...for a list of ALL the reasons why I should NOT be on the mission field..AHEM..
1. I'm easily angered
2. I have food "issues"
3. I LOVE hair dryers, make-up, and being CLEAN(not that you couldn't be clean on the mission field...just sayin')
4 I can be pretty "sassy" at times
5. I don't like snakes, bugs, or any HARMFUL animal
6. I'm prideful
7. I HATE flying overseas...or anywhere for that matter...
8. I yell at my kids sometimes..therefore certainly not worthy of working with children.
9. I hate change...no, I love change....apparently I'm wishy-washy as well.
10. I love television...and radio...(not that you can't have T.V. and radio on the mission field)
11. I can be VERY self-centered
12. I LOVE having a hospital ten minutes away!
13. I also have trust issues(see #12)
14. We still owe college debt...so, not always great with money..
15. I've sinned in ways you'll never know...
So there you have it....all the ways God CAN'T use me(or my family) on the mission field.
And did I mention how very THANKFUL I am for His GRACE that covers all that JUNK above;)!