We are so excited to share our Ethiopian adoption adventure, and our CRAZY lives with all of you! Our hope is that it will encourage you to step out in faith to do what God has called you to do! There are FIELDS of fatherless children waiting for someone to care for them, to love them, to tell them of JESUS' love for them...will YOU be the one??

Friday, August 13, 2010

Bonding and Sunflowers

Where do I start???

Let me start with a story.... While we were in Bulgaria, on our way to Sliven to pick up Ava, we passed fields and fields of the most beautiful SUNFLOWERS! And as each field passed, I noticed that ALL the sunflowers in each field were facing the direction of the sun... As we returned that afternoon, they had "turned" and were still following the sun!....and I wondered if this was just a coincidence(after all who can be sure what anything looks like at 90 MPH!!)...

When we returned home my hubby did some searching, and sure enough, there is a chemical in the sunflower(or something...my mind tends to wander when exposed to all things scientific;)) that makes them turn to face the morning sun and the same in the afternoon(I think..). I can't help but think of the body of Christ as that field of beautiful sunflowers...stretching and looking up to THE SON for our daily nourishment and provision...totally in sync...totally dependent on the SON!

That's where I am today folks....stretching and yearning and looking to the SON for my daily provision...this bonding stuff is NOT coming easy for me, and I am struggling immensly! It's like a switch has been turned off in me...that's the only way I can describe it...where once there was compassion and love, there is emptiness and numbness...this totally STINKS!!!

So, I keep leaning and stretching toward the one who can fill me..day by day by day...

All this to say, please keep us in your prayers...the enemy seems to be winning(and yes, I believe it is a spiritual attack of massive proportions!)...but my GOD is bigger...so I'm leaning hard!


  1. Renae,
    I had the same thoughts about the sunflowers...all with their faces to the sun. Keep looking to the Son! He will get you through. Praying for you.

  2. Hi,
    I've been following your journey and congratulations. I too will be adopting from Bulgaria and I wish you the best. The attachment will come when you stop worrying about it I believe. Your lives are still new together ... give it time.

  3. Just saw this post.Thanks for sharing. Appreciate your honesty. Will continue to pray for your precious family.

  4. Hi there,

    Thank you so much for this post! We did not get to see the fields of sunflowers like you did, but did get to see them before they were harvested.
    My heart aches with you and Ava. I have a friend who went through something like what you are dealing with. She adopted a 15 month old little girl having given birth 2 months before. It was very hard for her. She went to a therapist to he her talk through some of her feelings. You have helped us so much during this journey. If I can do anything for you please let me know.

  5. Hi.
    Read your request on Linny's blog and took a look at your site.

    I am glad you're holding on to Jesus, even when it's sooo hard. Please know I'm praying for you to not grow weary in your well-doing. The promise is you will bear fruit. I know you won't give up because it's His burden that's stretching your heart.

    Bless you,